August 30, 2005
ICANTFUCKINGDOITANYMORE!
Alright look, i totally fucked up with august - i totally decided that august was a total waste. I DID NOT wear pink most of the time. and of course that makes me a complete loser. but wait, all this is saying is its proving that a performance piece that lasts a whole year is absolutely crazy - i repeat - ABSOLUTELY CRAZZZZYYYY! I mean what the fuck have you done in your life for a whole year that takes a lot of mental anguish and strain on your everyday life? And I wont take a "shitty job" for an answer cause that usually lasts 8 hours a day and then you get to leave it and go drink beer. This year in pink thing makes me fucking crazy. My brain has literally decided that it can no longer take the color and every time I look at it I am sick to my fucking stomach.
That is 7 months of wearing pink pretty steadily. I fucked up for a few days here and there but most of the time I wore pink. Now August comes and I have a major meltdown. I am one day away from Sept. And I know that I must continue with the performance I must choose to stay in the color. I. just. need. to. relax. take. a. deep. breath. and. keep. going.
To my defense most of August was spent at home trying to finish a draft of a book I am putting together. But I know that many people will shake their heads in exasperation at my inability to keep it together. Oh yeah? You wear fucking pink head to fucking toe everyday! For a whole year! Then come back to me.

Comments
please keep going. you and your piece are so inspirational. don't give up.
Posted by: mara | September 07, 2005 at 03:03 PM

please tell me your name it is nowhere in your websoidr
Posted by: anita | September 19, 2005 at 04:20 PM

August 18, 2005
possible questions to ask onlookers
1. whats the first thing in your mind when you think of the color pink?
2. whats your reaction to seeing me in my outfit?
3. do you have a story to tell me about your experience of wearing pink?
4. do you think men look less masculine when they wear pink?
5. why did you just yell at me, I am merely trying to cross the street?
6. in a world full of hatred what is the point of adding to the problem?
7. if i have given you the space to dress the way you would like i would like to have the same courtesy handed to me.
8 - back to the questions
9. how restricting do you think gender roles are in your daily life?
10. do you think i'm sexy?
11. what are you doing this weekend, maybe sunday...?August 18, 2005 | Permalink

Comments
you can also just let people riff. hi, i see you've noticed I'm wearing all pink... and they will most likely start talking.
Posted by: sady | August 18, 2005 at 09:59 PM

Answer to 10: Yes. :)
Came here via a Babeland list forward. I work at the Seattle store. Awesome project!
Posted by: Laura | October 13, 2005 at 04:11 PM

August 18, 2005
the summer
there is just me wearing pink - and i guess the reason why i have not blogged so much this month is because I am trying not to think about it. I am trying to get through another 5 fucking months of it! So what its becoming is unconscious effort the least amount of energy and that will help. I am borrowing a friends minidisk recorder and i am going to do some field interviews when people see me in my pink - i want there to be four questions that I ask everyone - basic questions that will help to see what people really think when they see a guy in head to toe pink.

Comments
let me know if you want help editing the sound you collect as that is now my passion
Posted by: sady | August 18, 2005 at 04:43 PM

hey morty- i saw you have pictures of russell simmons in pink posted. have you thought at all about why some men get to wear pink without getting laughed at? specifically, how being a white male is affecting your year in pink? i haven't read all your blogs, but i've read a sampling. just want to hear any thoughts you have on how wearing pink as a white man, one who reads as gay?, has affected your year in pink.
Posted by: murdoch | August 19, 2005 at 12:36 PM

August 11, 2005
Share the spice of life!
Smiles today - all smiles from new york city to the man in pink. yay. that's a good feeling.
As the train slowed into Canal Street station I caught my reflection on the train window. My shoulders. They look level and strong. I notice them more than before, the last person I dated told me they were sexy and ever since then I found them sexy. It was always a fantasy, broad shoulders framing a nice masculine chest...and today it was looking right back at me. And yes, this body today is swathed in nice pastel pinks. I head out in the city to do some errands and actually smile at people. I especially brake out a toothy grin when I see a beautiful transwoman. She smiles back at me..I hope she knows (that I'm trans).
I stand on the street corner and have visions of myself as a pink apostle staring into the midday sun when a woman passes me and says "Pink, pink, pink!" and giggles.
I make my body move with flair and gusto. I am a weird dude wiggling my way down the street. There is funk music playing in my head. I have been in the sun a little too long.

August 09, 2005
wandering brain.
I just got back from a trip to "the lake" - the lake was actually called "Golden Pond" no shit - serious. I forget how new york city makes me feel until I actually leave. My defenses are always up here in the city. I seem to always have a mild grade anxiety, pretty much all the time. Whoa. I could really do the walden thing for a little while...probably wont happen...the city makes me a bit insane. Sometimes its really good, healthy insanity. I do yoga and sit ups and stretch and work in a very stress free environment. These are the things that save me.
Otherwise wearing pink is just one of those things that I have integrated into my life here === for the year...and today...I am sick sick sick of it.. fucking sick.
I am not drinking as much as last year. I drank a fifth of whiskey every week the summer of 2004. I was an alcoholic and then broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years.
Now. Ten months later. Whats happening.
I am in a pink outfit, with a wandering brain, looking for my future. I am almost 30.

Comments
Yeah, that left the city feeling can be alarming, when you realise how the city can make a person a bit .. tense and anxious at all times. and always on guard. But then when i am gone too long, sometimes I find a diffrent anxiety shows up, the i need to get back to the city kind. oh new york. what a strange beast.
(from some random person who happend to read an article about this and find the blog)
Posted by: m | August 19, 2005 at 04:59 AM

August 04, 2005
It can be sort of nauseating so i try not to think about it.
the energy around me is working me into a frenzy
why are these people laughing? I cannot look, don't want to look.
I turn my head a few degrees and see a woman
half of her face is badly damaged
it looks like a very large burn making her eye and half her mouth droop into her neck
we lock eyes for a quick moment
I want to show her i am not gawking
I am looking into her eyes trying to show some human emotion, I smile
there is so much commotion on the train
I want to do something to shut down all the bullshit that surrounds us - to make one train ride feel comfortable
she is standing and turns toward the window on the train car door. I see and feel her energy. She feels trapped in the train. There is nowhere to turn. There is very few ways not to make eye contact. She is almost pressing her face against the window, mentally getting as far away from stares and laughter as she can. She is not young. I feel like shit all of a sudden. I want to scream. I cannot stand what this woman has to go through.
I walk home with my stomach in knots. There is evil. Those of us that are made to feel like outcasts. It is so basic, but it pains me.