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July 30, 2005
Subway stops. Black t shirts.
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in head to toe pink. Pink shirt / pants/ dress / shoes / socks / jacket the whole outfit....
Ok.
how do you think you look?
Good looking or scary looking? Or just weird. Kind of funny right? Kind of clowny.
Can you pull off being sexy in that outfit? Maybe..
What'll it take.
A certain way you walk. Put emphasis on your shoulders. Elongate your thigh muscles.
walk as if you are on your way to the first day of your dream job.
Make people on the street understand that underneath this ultra pink outfit is one determined mother fucker. Determined to survive this year and only wear PINK!
I have taken to stashing a black t shirt in my bag for rides on the subway late at night. So its pink shoes and pants but broken by a very dark color. The harassment on the trains is reaching an all time high, so I decided I just cannot deal with it all the time.
Especially at night. The streets are dark ..can they see the pink? I walk beneath a light post and there it is ... but walking in the shadows seems sketchy...stay closer to the street.

Comments
Morty , what does courage , brilliance, and revolution look like? A lone man in pink, late at night, on a train in Brooklyn. You totally rock my world ~ I'm honoured to know you.
Your Friend DH4
Posted by: Ananda | July 31, 2005 at 10:32 PM

July 29, 2005
I wear pink everyday
I wear pink everyday
I wear pink when it seems like it might not be a good day to wear it
I put on a pair of pink pants right after I finish giving myself a shot of testosterone in my thigh
I wear a pink t shirt that covers my two six inch scars across my chest
I wear pink underpants that cover a small little trannyman cock
I wear pink and love its reflection on my rough hairy face
I am a fuckin' tranny in pink

July 28, 2005
Whats so confusing about a transman in pink
Do you have netflix? Well, my roommate does and she has been going through a pretty hardcore Sex In The City phase. She seems to be going in order, now on the first disk of season 2. I started to get hooked on it but backed off after disk 2 of season one started to really piss me off. It's a group of women constantly battling men and happiness within the thought of being single. To me most of the plot lines revolve around the being single kind of sucks-but-you-make-the-best-of-it scenario. One woman is hanging out with some dude who she sorta likes and then spends the rest of the show bitching to her friends how he's got these problems OR he has no "issues" and then uhh ohh come to find out he DOES have issues but you find out in a few shows later. Fuck, please don't tell me "it's just a show."
because I am aware of this...but TV being what it is it tends to leave a lasting mental picture. Women whose lives revolve around finding Mr. Right. Women who really don't want to be single and are essentially afraid to grow old without a man in their life.
---------
What I am feeling now, right now in my life is that it feels good to be single. Single and not looking for someone to fill some void...nobody is going to say that it doesn't get a little lonely not having someone around who you can fuck...yes, I do think most of it is that I miss sex with another human. I am not ready to have a relationship right now and I know this...very well. So, back to sex...one night stands...I wish I could have them!
But there will always be the disclosure issue, and it's just too much trouble. It really is.
I was discussing disclosure with some friends last night. My friend told me I could always wear a T shirt that disclosed all that you'd need to know to fuck me.
---Hi, I'm Morty, wearin' lots of pink but love the pussy! And I got one too!----
I am confusing. I love it actually. Life in pink -----
Whattheeff

Mortandbillay

Comments paired with a hat saying the eternally popular:
I EAT PUSSY EVERYDAY
Posted by: sady | July 31, 2005 at 11:44 PM

July 24, 2005
Maybe I am meant to be single in a time of pink – it’s not so easy to find people who after you tell them you are wearing pink for a year they still want your phone number.
All the conservative narrow minded women that I flirted with…what a waste of time.
The outfit is a huge obstacle. Better just to stay home and jerk off. Better, safer, and less time consuming.
I take the train home with my friend near me for half the trip - the other half is scary.
I finally feel ok with going home by myself.

July 21, 2005
I decided that I am going to start going to a shrink / therapist / person who picks your brain for money. This really only works because I have health insurance from my work which pays for 70% of the cost...
Whatever happened to talking with your beloved stuffed animal about your deep dark secrets and handling them that way?
I am not that sick of wearing pink right now - lately its been actually really comforting - its like the one constant in my world of inconsistency. I appreciate this performance piece everyday. It's quite an extreme way to live, but that feels right for me at this stage in my life.
I wish so many more emotions were as powerful and extreme as falling in love. I say this because not only am I not in love I am not even close to wanting to be in love right now...but I remember the feeling and miss the high you get from it.
I don't know if wearing pink is a suitable substitute for love but you gotta admit the commitment part is totally there.

July 19, 2005
I am feeling so much better today. I hung out with my friend Jody last night who just talked and listened and gave me some amazing advice and it had such an impact on me. I woke up feeling so different about my situation. I had my producer back out of backing my movie and just felt totally deflated for about a week... and then got to thinking that I am not going to let that stop me from getting my movie produced.The biggest thing I decided was that I would give 70% of the profits from this next porn to local and national non-profits that support the trans and queer community.
I have always said I care very little about making money and care more about the quality of the work and its impact on the trans/queer community.
I will put the new call for action up on the blog tomorrow...
in the meantime i am wearing pink...yes!
i am a big dork. i don't care.

July 18, 2005
today I was having thoughts where I wished someone would just get it over with and beat the shit out of me. I want this fear to get realized. I want all those guys that threaten me on the street to just DO IT. Fucking stop calling me names and just beat me down. I'm getting sick...I know I am. Doesn't the road to wellness start with a complete meltdown? I am not drinking and not doing drugs. Things inside of me keep slipping. ...today is not a good day for me. End. of. story.

July 16, 2005
Won't somebody stop me....
from thinking, from thinking all the time.Today I watched porn and hung out with friends and drank coffee. I sat at home and thought of all the productive things I wanted to do and then watched more porn. Which is actually like research because I learn about production techniques while jerking off. There is a lot of self pleasuring going on lately. This is where working at a sex toy store really comes in handy. It's like "What the fuck do I want to shove up my ass tonight?" as I walk into work. While I am helping a customer I am also looking across the displays for something I might want to "receive".
When I am hanging out with my co-workers (certain ones, not all of them) we make overt sexual references, flirt, slap asses and talk smut to each other. I mean you have to be a certain type of person to talk about sex and sex toys all day to strangers.
It is not unusual, though not necessary, to talk about personal preference with toys / techniques / experiences.
I do tend to pass info on to customers that I have gleaned from a co-workers story about, say, a harness.
But sometimes I end up thinking of said co-worker and said sex toy...I work with a lot of good looking people...it's a dangerous combination.
Anyway back to sex toys and masturbation:
I'm horny.
Now pardon me while I cover my chest in hot wax and throw some clamps on my pussy.
xxoomorty

July 15, 2005
Beauty is in the eye..blah blah
Artistically I feel very beautiful. This project has been one of the most amazing things I have ever done with myself. Mostly because I feel like I had to push myself to the absolute limit in the first part of this piece. I was getting attacked and abused and felt like shit most of the time. I now get fucked with but I am used to it at this point so it doesn't affect me as much - is that fucked up or what! Think about all of those who get fucked with on a daily basis, and I mean everyone, women, fags, people who don't fit the norm, and how it just melts into your daily life.....anyway back to beauty....
Beauty - I see beauty in so many things, as I always have. I was rubbing my foot the other day and thought to myself "damn, touching skin is so wonderful."
It really is. With people who I have been in love with touching their skin was just the most precious thing to me. Just touching, feeling it on my fingers.
I notice beauty in random things like watching shiny things reflect light, crazy things sticking out of trashcans, and the way paint chips off of the subway station walls. I looked at myself in the mirror today while I was at Century 21 looking for a new pair of white jeans....and it strikes me how strange I look. maybe it was the lighting (horrible fluorescent) or maybe it was that my eyes looked bloodshot (contact lens problems) but I looked at my face and my body wrapped in pink and it just blew me away for a few seconds. I am beautiful but in this mangled, damaged sort of way.
And I appreciate that.
I looked down at my hands ...they have got to be the most visually arresting thing about me. They are scarred and missing digits. Once people notice them they have a hard time taking their eyes away. Again, beauty in a mangled, distorted sort of way.
It all adds up to what I have always felt my whole life. I ain't like the rest. My beauty comes directly from knowing this. Has wearing pink heightened my sense of beauty? Inwardly, not at first, but now yes. Outwardly,YES! The hyper awareness of my surroundings has led me to look and interact with more of the world, making me understand that there is beauty everywhere. When I am not in my year of pink I hope this is something that will stay with me forever.

July 15, 2005
I actually had someone scream out of their car window as I walked down Bedford Ave in fucking Williamsburg around 4pm:
"SOMEONE washed their clothes incorrectly!"
Ha! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! You are sooooo fuckin' hilarious!
It's all about how you say it. Yeah, I'm sure this man was just trying to be cheeky.
It wasn't all that funny though.
Keeping pink jeans clean in the summertime SUCKSSSSS!
I used to be able to just plop my ass down any ol' place but nope not anymore.
I am too aware of my consumption of products and I refuse to buy pants over and over.
Sorry for the random post - these always happen at 3am...I am naked and feeling sweaty and agitated here in my room, so here I am blogging.
I will take a cue from my friend Ruthie and expose my feelings about beauty and how my perception of beauty has changed while wearing only pink...in the next post...in the morning...
Goodnight ya'll -- M

July 13, 2005
You just gotta push on! No matter what, Morty! Even if it all seems like it makes no fucking difference if you do or don't!
Ok yeah. Yes I will continue on....
Don't you ever just stare into space and wonder....what the fuck...is this all worth....
I have a broken heart, but it's not because of some romance that went sour...it's this fucking world, the concrete that my feet are tirelessly walking on.
And then you just press on....
Why don't I see more people crying on the street?
I want to see more people crying on the street so when I do I don't feel alone.
I feel so uncomfortable and wearing pink does not exacerbate my mental state as much as it displays it. Wide open. Weepy transman in a cocoon of pink, pink, pink.
Why so uncomfortable Morty?
It's not such an easy answer.
I gotta say that I am happy for the people in my life that give me the strength to keep this performance going.
Some of the people I am speaking of don't know my deeper issues. I am a big funnel or a sieve, or a conductor, of all the crap around me.
I am laughed at, yelled cruelly at..make some people uncomfortable and others totally happy and excited. Enigma (ha ha)...How many of you can say you elicit this kind of shit?
p.s don't hug me unless you really mean it. I take that shit seriously.
July 13, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
Well, Morty, I guess part of what you're realizing that maybe you haven't to the same degree before is that a large part of this kind of project is endurance, even if in some way you're testing yourself.
But one could make the argument that art is essentially useless, right? That life, even, is essentially useless and meaningless. But isn't art about meaning-making and communicating something? Even after this year is over, you'll have this crazy documentation of this crazy thing you did and the mission statement behind it. But it's also true that art often has a different meaning to the do-er; a kind of exploration.
The American Heritage Dictionary has this to say about art:
"*Human effort to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract the work of nature.
*The conscious production or arrangement of sounds, colors, forms, movements, or other elements in a manner that affects the sense of beauty, specifically the production of the beautiful in a graphic or plastic medium.
*The study of these activities.
*The product of these activities; human works of beauty considered as a group.
*High quality of conception or execution, as found in works of beauty; aesthetic value. "
So it seems like the only part to figure out, the part that you keep coming back to in terms of this definition, is how this affects one's sense of beauty, particularly your own. And the thing that actually makes this a “piece,” obviously, is that you interact with the world around you. Certainly living your life every day this present has to change how you think of the world around you. Maybe ultimately it’s that something else will come out of it; that you’ll be in the mind space to be able to accomplish something you otherwise wouldn’t. I’d be curious to know how this affects one's—and especially your— sense of beauty.
Phew, that said, good job and you’ll make it; you’re brave. Other people are rooting for you and want to see you succeed.
XO
PS: Maybe you should give people the chance to figure out how you need to be hugged (?)

July 12, 2005
When we hold out....
This post is all about what it feels like to hold on to a thread of hope that shit actually does get better.
Living pink I am harassed on the street pretty steadily. Yesterday I had two cops pass by me. One said under his breath "Fucking lame." The other cop laughed...really hard.
I just have to laugh myself. Why are we all so fucked up! That we have to JUDGE every second. We ALL do it - I am not a saint and telling you I never do it myself. We all have our preconceived bull crap that we throw on people, just some do it inwardly while others throw it out there.
All I am saying is that I hold myself accountable and try to be as non-judgmental as I possibly can.
What I am trying to say about holding out is that instead of letting all this negative energy affect me and bring me down I choose to hold out and let it pass. Then when it does pass I let the good energy in.
oh, c'mon! Let me get a little sappy here!
I want to talk about the constant need to fill holes. Ha, ha - no! Not those holes!
I mean figuratively, of course. We feel a moment of loneliness, or fear, or become freaked and we immediately want it gone, want to fill that "hole" with something anything that will turn us away from what essentially is something that feels painful. What is it like sitting with pain or uncomfortable loneliness or fear? It sucks!
But that is only because we choose to see these moments in our life like this. Why?
Because we are a society that says it's bad to feel bad.
When in fact feeling "bad" and figuring out the who/what/when/where of feeling bad will lead to inevitably feeling good again.
I truly believe this. So I am turning toward these uncomfortable / painful moments instead of away from them and it's hard and makes me queasy but then it moves me toward enlightenment. Yes, I said enlightenment because I end up learning so much about myself.
So...listen to yourself. Don't plug it all up with drugs, alcohol, sex, work. Just listen.

July 12, 2005
I am feeling really amazing today. I am trying hard to feel parts of myself that I have kept in the dark for so long. It takes a lot of work to live the way I do. It is not easy to find support, feel like I have good people around me, and feel good all of the time. Yet, I have been more aware lately about what it means to choose a world where I can be myself. I work somewhere where there are no problems with being trans/queer. Now that doesnt mean that things are always peachy in that environment, it's hard work actually, but it's so worth it.
So today is the day I let everyone in my life know how important they are to me and give them any and all the support I can give.

July 12, 2005
who needs to see a therapist?
It's 2 in the fucking morning...what the fuck am i doing "blogging" - I am going to try to relay how I feel tonight. I want ....wait what the hell do I want? Everyone to be happy. Period. This is about all the people up at 2am wishing/hoping/wondering. I want to be happy myself. I go in and out. I was told I could benefit from seeing a therapist. Maybe. But not now. Too busy - blogging my troubles away. And it's much less expensive.

July 10, 2005
Making porn is a dream come true. Seriously.
I am just some guy wearing head to toe pink. I'm a guy looking for a date sometime in the next few weeks. This blog has done nothing for my dating life...except maybe ruffle a few feathers. So what the hell, here it is: I am single. Really single. Looking for that summertime wonder that is the lovely outdoor date. I love to walk the bridges, drink champagne, eat fruit, make food. I bring flowers (no roses) because it's romantic and the world has too little of that. Bars really do stink for meeting people....
In other news: I am in full porn production mode, getting many emails from transmen and women offering to perform in my next film. This is the part of making porn that I love. I get to interact with people on this intimate level (talking about sex, sending me naked photos) and it just excites me. Making porn is so much more than just filming people fuck. For a transman making trans porn it's a statement to the world, a movement that empowers with filthy actions captured on tape. I don't want to be apart of the porn industry you see, I merely want to make important work, and I think porn that stars trans people in a positive light is one of the most important things I could do with my time.
Here is the call for performers:
Casting call for Morty Diamond’s new trans porn – please repost / email to everyone
Hi everyone,
This is Morty, director of the transman porn movie Trannyfags, and I am super excited to start casting for my next porn movie. This movie is going to be all about transmen who have sex with women. This is a scripted movie, which consists of three different scenes, a dom/sub scene, a role playing scene, and a threesome scene that starts on a beach (no actual public sex in this scene).
I am looking for hot transmen, and women (both trans and non-trans) to perform. Looking for all body types, ages, and people of color. There is payment for your performance, and transportation costs paid, most of the filming will happen in New York City. There will be a few non-sex scenes in this film, such as a barbeque party scene, where I will need lots of hot trannys and queers as extras.
I am also in need of people who can help with production. Do you have a location you can offer? Camera/lighting/set/prop help is also needed.
Looking to shoot in September / October 2005.
Please email me at transmorty@hotmail.com for full details.
If you are a possible performer please email me with a photo (head and body shot), and a short bio about yourself.
For more info about my work please go to www.mortydiamond.com
Thank you, Morty
xoxoxoxoxoxoxmorty

July 06, 2005
your life-sized reminder that shits really fucked up
I am standing around at a barbecue talking to folks that have come up to me commenting on my outfit. I stand around ,amongst total strangers, talking about the performance.
I mention getting gay bashed on the street when a man next to me says
"Well, you're wearing head to toe pink, what do you expect!"
This makes me angry and I retort back "What is that all about! So it's also OK for a woman to get attacked because she is wearing a short skirt? It's the same thing to me!"
As it turns out this guy is a gay man, and then it all makes sense to me when he says
"I am sick of getting attacked on the street myself for acting a little too "feminine".
Right. I begin to understand that these negative thoughts percolate inside folks that have to deal with getting attacked on a semi-regular basis. To this man I am a target, but so is he. Yet, I can take my pink off, and he...well it's a much more nebulous thing because what do people see when they bash him on the street. A mannerism, a certain gait, what the hell is tipping someone off that he is gay? It frustrates him and yet he doesn't know what he can do about it.
Yes, the performance brings this out in people. I am a life-size reminder that we are inevitably judged on our appearances.
I am a walking thought provoker. I am a sad faced leper in my pink uniform.
Sometimes I am so sick of wearing pink it's like I have never been so annoyed by anything else quite so much in my life. Other times I enjoy not looking like everyone else, and appreciate the reactions.
I am the go to guy at the party for when to want to talk politics of gender.
Someone give me a beer.

July 05, 2005
I am losing....
There is nothing more to say other than the support and positive feelings I get from those around me mean more to me than you realize.
July 05, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
keep on with the pink mortica
if you keep up with it your writing will only get better
hang in there
Posted by: leopold | July 06, 2005 at 05:29 PM
keep on with the pink mortica
if you keep up with it your writing will only get better
hang in there
Posted by: leopold | July 06, 2005 at 05:30 PM
keep on with the pink mortica
if you keep up with it your writing will only get better
hang in there
Posted by: leopold | July 06, 2005 at 05:30 PM

July 04, 2005
the 4th.
Today is the fourth of July. I don't really care. I would have cared for fireworks and beer had I left the city and gone somewhere, anywhere actually, but I didn't. It starts to creep up on you, this need to go far, far away from New York. I never had such an intense need to flee from my surroundings like this. I surely never had it in San Francisco, and the excursions I did embark on from the bay always made me feel like coming home was the best part.
I do like New York, but the city tends to wear me down, and with only 2 1/2 years under my belt the summers still feel new and stifling.
I think I have this renewed relationship with anxiety. Wearing pink everyday has a lot to do with this.
So how do I cope? I could end this performance piece right now. Right this second I could just stop and reflect or I could push myself. So I have to think like an artist at this point I have to think of this piece as a way to enter some new mindspace that people rarely take themselves. Pushing myself has always been good for me. I know to some this sounds so trite, to push myself to wear the color one more day, but I have to. I have to prove to myself I can do this.
I am listening to a lot of Aretha Franklin.
Until You Come Back To Me (That's What I'm Gonna Do)
Aretha Franklin
Though you don't call any more
I sit and wait in vain
I guess I'll rap on your door (your door)
Tap on your window pane (tap on your window pane)
I wanna tell ya baby changes I've been goin' through
Missin' you - listen you
(Till you come back to me - that's what I'm gonna do)
Why did you have to decide
You had to set me free
I'm gonna swallow my pride (my pride)
Gonna beg ya to please - baby please see me
(Baby won't you see me)
I'm gonna walk out by myself
Just to prove that my love is true
Oh for ya baby
(Till you come back to me
That's what I'm gonna do)
Baby for you my dear
Is like living in a world of constant fear
Hear my plea (hear my plea)
I've got to make you see (gotta make you see)
That our love is dying (our love is dying)
Although your phone you ignore
Somehow I must - somehow I must - how I must explain
I'm gonna rap on your door (your door)
Tap on your window pane (tap on your window pane)
I'm gonna camp by your steps
By the chance I'll get through to you
I've gotta the change your view baby
(Till you come back to me - that's what I'm gonna do)
(Till you come back to me - that's what I'm gonna do)
(Till you come back to me - that's what I'm gonna do)
I'm gonna rap on your door (rap on it)
Tap on your win- (tap on it) - dow pane
Open up baby
I'm gonna rap on your door (rap on it)
Tap on your - tap on your (tap on it)
Tap on your - tap on your window pane
(Tap on your window pane)
I'm gonna rap on your door (rap on it)
FADES-
Tap on your door (tap on it) window pane
Open up baby...

Comments
aretha seems like a good way to cope. i miss you!!!!!!! even though you hate NY, enjoy the summer for me please! or come visit!
Posted by: amelia | July 04, 2005 at 04:18 PM

July 04, 2005
take it out on the blog
I am sick of taking it out on myself so lets try the blog...it's 3am, actually it's 3:28am
I am having a hard time getting to sleep. I saw this girl I used to date on the street and I regret saying hello to her 'cause now I am in all sorts of mental instability. There are no drugs and very little alcohol in my system which makes this so much worse. I wish for someone to come to my house right this very second and pour whiskey down my throat.
You want to know the truth? This pink performance is making me lose my mind.
Email me: transmorty@hotmail.com

July 03, 2005
Subway tears muther fucker....
"If I looked like you I would be dead by now."
This piece of information was given to me today by a total stranger. He was sitting directly across from me on the train. I had just come from a wonderful day at the beach. I was tired and soggy and here was this man staring at me, and then out of nowhere this nasty hiss of a voice came out at me. You know what I did? I fucking cried. I mother fucking cried right there in front of everyone sitting on the train. Tears started streaming down my face and I saw him just turn his face away. And you know what else, I do give a shit that I cried. I give a shit that people are fucking assholes. Just pure fucking assholes.
My tears are coming from a fucking deep place. Somewhere where all the pain that is welled up inside me, on the precipice of getting lose. All I needed was that turn of events and bam! it was easy to let those tears out.
ahhh...I'm losing myself. Sometimes I really think there is thin line between me and the rest of the world. I mean you know what I need. What I needed after that train comment was someone to hold me.It's crazy how palpable that feeling of needing to be held was/is. I need some sort of armor against the world. I seemed to have lost so much of it with this performance piece.
There are so many more tears in my life.... Is it the performance? Is it just this super sensitive heart I possess? I know without a doubt I've become more sensitive this year. I suppose we can say the performance has brought that out.
There are some people in this world that I wish I could just talk to. There are some emotions that I wish would just go away.

July 02, 2005
no reasoning with fear
I got on the train last night with two men shaking their heads at me.
Am I having a nervous breakdown? Why, yes, yes I am...
I struggle with the knowing that I can climb out of my pink clothes and rejoin the ranks as a regular person ...
I text my friend on the train "I am wearing pink, though really scared."
The gay bashing the night before pushed me backwards, into that familiar region of fear and constantly looking backward to make sure theres not a gun pointed my way.
I get a text back "I'm proud of you, seriously"
and that helps a lot. I make sure to not get on the same traincar as the men who are
giving me shade. What traincar I do walk into is one filled with a small group of young men who immediately notice me. One starts up with "Oh nooo! Ohhh nooo!" and gets up off his seat. I move as far away from them as I can but I've gotten on the last traincar so I essentially trapped myself. I see the other boys look my way and start up with "uuhhh huhhh!" and "check out the shoes!"
and I actually start to shake a little. I notice only one other man in the car with us and he is sitting so still he looks frozen, I look again and notice he's sleeping.
I wonder what the train ride was going to have in store for me. There are just a few seconds where I try to prepare myself for the possibility of these boys fucking with me physically when one boy starts to make a huge thumping drum beat on the bench and yells to his friends "Start it up!"
With the drumbeat behind him one of the boys gets up out of his seat and starts to pop and lock to the beat. He turns toward me and shows me some fucking amazing dance moves that ends with him taking his cap off and tipping it towards me. I smile big.
They smile back at me. Another boy gets up and starts to breakdance, the drummer pounds louder on the seat. This goes on for two stops until I hear one of them say "C'mon lets get into the other cars and make some cash."
It's always remarkable how your body prepares itself for the worst.
Fear is so instinctual and excitement happens when there is no possibility of fear. The train ride was spectacular but as I exited the station in the lower east side I walked a pretty empty side street and almost peed my pants by hearing the sound of a car that was driving slowly past me....It makes no sense.

Comments
You ARE brave, sir. And you are doing something cool and scary and I'm jealous 'cause you get to CHOOSE to be in this position. There's IS a lot of responsibility and thought that happens when you do something this big! Be proud! XO
Posted by: RD | July 02, 2005 at 07:22 PM

July 02, 2005
so here's how it goes
So starting from last night:
There was an amazing dinner given by my good friend Becca on the roof of her parents house. I arrived at around 7:30pm and stayed till about 10pm, at which time I decided to go to Williamsburg with my friend Andres to some party. We got ourselves there just in time to see a bunch of cop cars and sad hipsters walking away from the building where the party was held. We thought it might be a good idea to stay but we were both so tired that it became a non-issue and we headed for the train. While walking to the train we came upon a small group of children, some teenagers but many of them not. As we walked past a voice came at us saying "get off our block you fucking faggots."
I didn't think much of it so I kept walking with the same relaxed step that I was using when we started to hear shattering glass.
I realized quite quickly that we were under attack by the kids we had just passed. Miraculously nobody got hurt.
Today I scared myself over and over wondering when the next strike will be and how I will defend myself if I have to....?