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May
20, 2005
and I'm available
for just about anything right now - looking for a girl who reads books
and likes porn to email me....
Comments
i love pink. i read books. i like porn.
and i love morty d.
jamye
Posted
by: jamye | May 31, 2005 at 01:20 PM
May 20, 2005
the fucking weekend!
weekend party! wait wait let me let out some steam here and write some
epithets - fucking mother fucking damn! Whats the fucking problem you
ask? Well i just ate a big ol' sugary cupcake and i think sugar makes
me surly.
I am actually pretty happy right now - the breakup happened at the very
best time - i have 5 friends visiting from san francisco - and they all
want to get me drunk and laid. fuck yeah!
i am not going to wear pink today - i am not going to wear pink all weekend.
i have on a pair of dark blue jeans with pinstripes on them and black
t shirt that has a portrait of a girl in bondage on it and a black bandanna
around my neck.
and my converse high tops red/white/yellow - niiiice...
blah blah
laughter, makeup, black tea, nose blowing, masturbation (thinking of sex
with....), beer,
cupcakes, porno, cell phone talks, dark colored clothing - these are all
the things that are keeping me sane right now
May 19, 2005
young, single loves to mingle
i broke up with the girl i was seeing for many months.
trust me when i say we had a good run....
but it just was not one of those match made in heaven kinds of pairings.
will you all want to kick my ass if i tell you that i am going to put
off wearing pink for a few days while i regroup? well that's whats going
on and performance does not take precedence over life. not right now.
its a hellish color to wear when you are:
trying to overcome depression
trying to get laid
trying to look clean
trying to stay off the radar screen
trying to stay calm / relaxed
look. i just need to get laid - and in an all pink getup...it just ain't
gonna happen. period. end of story. lets party while I'm still young.
May 18, 2005
Performance anxiety
Ok here it is - it's been almost six months of wearing pink and I feel
like maybe I am ready to change the rules a little bit - I think I am
going to officially start wearing other colors 2 days a week so that I
can feel some sanity. I know many of you are gasping for air at the thought
of this new rule but you know what....wearing pink all the time is not
what I need right now in my life. When I wear pink I enjoy it but it's
just so monotonous sometimes. Trust me when I say that 5 days of wearing
pink is enough! The other two days can be in darker colors so I can muster
the energy to wear pink again.
Please read my call for submissions below for a new book project I am
doing. Please also send the info to anyone who might be interested in
submitting work.
xxoomorty--------
May 18, 2005
My new project
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS - Please feel free to copy this and send to all who
might be interested in this project.
Our Gendered Lens:
A Photography Book From the Transgender, Transsexual, Genderqueer, Thirdgender,
Non-gender, Gender variant, Gender Defiant.
This photography book will focus on our images, scenes from our worlds,
what we see through our own lenses, and what role gender identity plays
in our lives.
This book will allow us to share our lives and our experiences through
images of our own creation. It is important that we take creative control
of the images that represent who we are. Subject matter is up to you,
the photographer, as long as it pertains to your gender in some way.
The main goal of this project is to visualize as many gender identities
as possible ,in an international scope, through photographs taken by people
in the trans and gender variant community.
I am hoping to get photographs from around the world. I hope to find submissions
that represent places that have smaller trans and gender variant communities,
right along side those of us who live in large cities. The book will include
photographers from diverse racial and class backgrounds and across a wide
age range.
****I am looking for people that can help translate the call for submissions
and help with international communities. If you can help with this please
let me know in an email. ****
If you would like to participate in this project and do not have the funds
for a camera (disposable or otherwise) or film developing please email
me or send me a letter so we can work something out.
Deadline for submissions has been set for October 2005.
HOW TO SEND YOUR PHOTO:
Via email send your low res. digital photos ( .jpeg / .gif / .tif ) to:
ourgenderedlens@gmail.com
Please keep in mind that you must have a high res. copy of any digital
photos for printing capability.
Include a short description about the photos you send. By regular mail
- send photos to: Morty Diamond
1083 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY 11221
Morty Diamond is the director of the transman art porn Trannyfags and
the editor of the anthology From the Inside Out, FTM and Beyond (Manic
D Press, Sept. 2004)
Comments
cool. I just posted this up on a livejournal FTM community. Good luck
with the project!
Posted
by: Seb | May 27, 2005 at 02:14 PM
May 17, 2005
Sweaty and confused part 2
oh i dont know - inner meltdown - only lasting half the day -
i need to see the sun - i just found out that the investor who has offered
to put up money for my next porn is saying - yes - everything is a go
again -
does the world need more porn?
yes!
does the world need better porn?
yes!
how much well made porn is out there that features transmen?
so so so little ....
some family members might be reading this right now and saying "what
porn?" ummm if thats you dad email me and i'll tell you all about
it.
May 16, 2005
Sweaty and confused
I woke today in a cold sweat. Fuck, I knew this was coming. My friend
Zarathustra and Kit are in town and all we have been doing is talking
about life. Everything from monoculture, graffiti, feelings, Saturn Return
and a bunch of other crazy shit that late 20's people are stuck dealing
with. The Saturn Return has been especially hard for Zara (who is an artist,
an amazing one at that go here to check out his stuff) who told me that
one day he woke up "twisted" and slept for three weeks straight.
Fuck. He's gradually gotten some semblance to his life but he's in the
throes of this dramatic change and it's been taking up a lot of his mental
space. I think he opened my door. I think this is the beginning of some
crazy shit that has been weighing on me for years but is finally coming
to a head.
Oh fuck.
May 15, 2005
sunday in the sun.
It's been a great day of b-b-q and friends visiting from San Francisco.
The sun is out
and people are looking hot...
Pink: I am having lots of fun wearing it and I feel great actually. Whats
funny is some friends are saying "are you going to write about this
in your blog?" when something really funny happens - like at the
b-b-q a little boy came up to me and casually said "why are you in
pink..don't you know that's a girl color?" Whaaa.... funny and boring
I'm bored with that part of the performance actually.
I need a zen moment where all the public comment falls away...I need to
focus on other things.
May 14, 2005
Add it up.
Is it enough to just walk around wearing pink all day?
I was asked "What have you been up to lately?" about four times
today, seeing many people I hadn't seen in a few months. I went through
my usual banter about decompressing from the Mix Festival and discussed
a bit about my new photography project (more later on that) and then there
is this whole wearing pink thing.
When I tell people how excited I am about my performance piece
they look at me funny, like they don't see how serious this actually is.
Seriously though this is a performance piece! And I am performing even
as I write this.
As far as I am concerned I am
Making art
making art
making art everyday
I wonder if this kind of performance feels dead to most people. I wonder
if performance art just isn't as interesting to people as it was ,say,
in the 70's.
Trust me I don't really like this color that much! I wear pink for many
reasons but the biggest one would be: INSTANT GRATIFICATION
Yes! It's true! Wearing pink makes me feel like I am making, doing, and
reinventing just by walking down the street. I don't have to do anything
but get dressed.
Now it's Saturday and I want to get drunk...and fuck, pink gets dirty
so fast!!
xxooMD
May 13, 2005
PINK:
Is it just me or is the summer time starting to bring pink out again?
I see men in pink pants and shirts and hats - just not all at once like
I'm doing. This is a great moment!
People do ask me "guys wear pink Morty! So what are you trying to
prove."
Well, it's a lot more than that. I have wanted to do a performance piece
like this ever since hearing about Linda Montano and her performance that
consisted of her wearing one color each year for seven years that coincide
with the 7 chakras.
You can go here to read a bit more about her piece.
Wearing all pink makes me very aware of my space in the world. It makes
me wake up and see how my surroundings can be affected by my presence
depending on where I am or who is looking at me. Also, wearing pink helps
me be aware of how I choose to use the money I earn. I shop for clothes
much less..but its more than that...it's about distractions in life, and
learning how spending time on spending money affects me. To be honest
I have never been much of a shopper, and I don't know if this is a symptom
of wearing pink but I have bought nothing new in this pink year. The last
big purchase I made was a computer, and I decided to buy one used off
Craigslist. I am using this performance piece to do a bit more introspection
on my life, and it's been eye-opening so far.
Have a good weekend everyone!
--xxooMorty
May 11, 2005
Sun sign Scorpio
And what that means is I am allowed to wallow in my emotions and let them
lead me, as dangerous as that seems to some. I am wearing pink and I have
a love/hate relationship to the life that exits within this color. Where
are you right now as you are reading this? I am sitting on my bed, in
a room that has no windows, which makes for a box essentially.
How many of you have windowless boxes for bedrooms? It's certainly the
beginnings of a hermit lifestyle. But I love this box/cave and the circular
thoughts that manifest here. Roughly a year ago I happened to catch Bell
Hooks speak on TV about how she likes to write in a closet-size room in
her apartment that had no window, and it reverberated within me. I like
the stillness a dark space gives me.
The only thing to hit my face is the light bulb above me. The fact that
there is no idea to what the weather is like is comforting to me.
I am wearing nothing but pink underwear while writing this. I am holding
on to a cup of peppermint tea. I am a bit ansty because I must go outside
today and act like a civilian, and I really just want to lay on a beach.
I have really hairy legs.
Comments
I bought a pink t shirt for you
the thirft stores are cheap and plentiful here in portland
i would have sent it out but i decided after waering it's probably to
big for you and you might not want to wear a lamb chop shirt
so i've incorperated it into my wardrobe i wear it as a bottom t shirt
behind my button down shirts
today i'm all in black
except for the pink t shirt
my favorit is pink t shirt with blue grey plaid
Posted by: leopold
| May 11, 2005 at 10:29 PM
i´m at my
mom´s house while reading this. it´s freaking cold in santiago,
thinking about ny´s summer. i´ve been waking up all week at
6.30am, i hate that. i have a pink winter jacket for you. will you need
it? i don´t know if i like box/cave spaces. windows are cool. backyards
are cooler. beaches are coolest. are you already preparing hang outs,
parties, hangovers for me??
Posted by: amelia
| May 12, 2005 at 09:48 AM
last night i was
at a show and behind the stage as the band was setting up they were playing
a dvd of Pink Panther cartoons and there's this one that was particularly
resonant of your performance: there's this little Mario-like (nintendo)
man painting everything in this house blue... and the Pink Panther is
painting everything blue, pink... and so lots of funny hijinks ensue with
things painted blue being repainted pink being repainted blue/pink/blue,
etc. Pink wins, of course, since it's the Pink Panther.
May 10, 2005
performance art in daily living
What is the amazing thing about performance art in daily living? Well,
I think the main thing is to see how the external is affecting the internal
and vice versa.
I really appreciate all of you who read this blog. I am not trying to
get sympathy by saying
sometimes its hard - and you know what - sometimes it's not! Sometimes
it's lots of fun to get positive reaction and get new perspectives on
personal stuff through this piece.
May 10, 2005 | Permalink
Commentsi definitely think it's time for pink terrorism. a claiming of
space as pink pleasure zone. a pink army. pink posse. public pinkness.
Posted by: sady | May 10, 2005 at 08:39 PM
So glad I found your site!!! I need to read more, but I think we are warriors
in similar battles.
SPREAD THE PINK!!!!
Halcyon
www.pinkgasm.com
May 10, 2005
confident and calm.
I was just told today, by the girl I am dating, that I seem much more
confident and calm when I am not wearing pink. She has seen me quit for
a day and have a no-pink outfit on. I don't know what to say to that.
It sounds pretty true, and that's a lot of what this performance is about.
Noticing the changes. I feel scared when I am wearing pink. Many times
I don't notice how uptight I am until I am walking somewhere and get to
the destination. It's as if I walk around holding my breath, what an interesting
symptom this pink wearing is having on me.
I wish she didn't have to see me in such a bad place, of course I would
like to be more calm, and confident, but it seems like it ebbs and flows
more often now within my year in pink. I just hope that she can be supportive
of this performance piece and all the emotional instability it's having
on me.
May 10, 2005 | Permalink
Commentsi
think emotional instability is not worth it so, either:
A) have more fun with the whole thing, acquire a stronger armor against
people's anti-pink behavior, fuck it
B) be more overtly political so you can feel your agency and be bolstered
that way
Posted by: sady | May 10, 2005 at 09:10 AM
I get to feel
both bolstered by the positive and fucked up over the negative. I get
both! Emotional instability is worth it to a degree. I repeat to a degree.
I will not end this piece but I will continue to let the emotions of the
piece come as they will.
--Morty
Posted by: Morty | May 10, 2005 at 11:55 AM
One of the nicer sayings i have heard is
"wear the world as if it were a lose garmet'
i can't fucking seem to do it
but i try sometimes
May 09, 2005
stop.
Today I tried to save a cats life. A small emaciated cat lay on Broadway,
the street I take to catch the train,face looking very stricken and its
thin body laying flat on the ground, eyes caked with dirt. When I saw
it I immediately knew it needed help. I first went to the bodega next
door to get some cat food and got on the phone with animal care and control
to come pick it up. They told me they could be there in a half hour to
pick it up so I waited.
(they also told me that they try their best to get the cat back to health
unless it has a terminal disease..) I sat there as the cat literally hobbled
to the food ate a tiny bit and had to sit back down. It's body shaking
because it had not had food to eat in such a long time and it was a shock
to it's system. So unbearable to watch - this cat was in a lot of pain.
Animal care was late so I went to a nearby thrift store, got a box and
an old t shirt, picked it up and took it to work (i was going to be late
to work otherwise). From work called animal care again and arranged a
pick up. When the animal care guy came he said he hasn't seen a case of
starvation/sickness this bad in a long time. Things seemed like they might
work out for the cat. It seemed attentive and I think has a good chance
to live. The thing I want to bring up is how I found the cat. Two people
were walking down the street and one said out loud "damn! that cat
is looking sick!" and walked right past the animal. I said to myself
"what cat?" and looked around and found it laying near a wall.
How can someone walk right past a cat that looked almost dead and not
bother to do something about it. But I am sure many people walked past
this cat, noticed what stage it was in, and did nothing about it. This
above all things makes me want to cry. Broadway (the name i gave the cat
after the street i found it on) i hope you get to live through this and
have a few more lives....
How can people be so cruel? Animals need our help. We bring them into
our world as pets and treat them like shit...it makes no sense to me.
When you see an animal (or a person for that matter) who needs help how
can you just turn your back?
DOn't fucking ask me why but I am listening to Billy Joel's "Allentown"
non-stop. It's such a beautiful song....
Well we're living here in Allentown
And they're closing all the factories down
Out in Bethlehem they're killing time
Filling out forms
Standing in line
Well our fathers fought the Second World War
Spent their weekends on the Jersey Shore
Met our mothers in the USO
Asked them to dance
Danced with them slow
And we're living here in Allentown
But the restlessness was handed down
And it's getting very hard to stay
Well we're waiting here in Allentown
For the Pennsylvania we never found
For the promises our teachers gave
If we worked hard
If we behaved
So the graduations hang on the wall
But they never really helped us at all
No they never taught us what was real
Iron and coke
And chromium steel
And we're waiting here in Allentown
But they've taken all the coal from the ground
And the union people crawled away
Every child had a pretty good shot
To get at least as far as their old man got
But something happened on the way to that place
They threw an American flag in our face
Well I'm living here in Allentown
And it's hard to keep a good man down
But I won't be getting up today
And it's getting very hard to stay
And we're living here in Allentown
May 07, 2005
.....pppiiinnkkk...
Ok well today is saturday..I have worn pink (and only pink) for the past
2 weeks -- if you go to past entries I have definitely strayed from the
color on a few occasions. but
i am having fun with it - I am becoming immune to the laughter...I got
spit on a few days ago. which was interesting...it was a very out-of-nowhere
spittle and I wasn't so sure where it came from. but I'm hedging a guess
it was a small group of young men who had been giggling -- we were on
the train - and I felt the spit on my back walking toward the exit. It
didn't matter to me that much. Spit. Had it been a fist or any sort of
physical violence I would be in a much worse state of mind, but its kind
of interesting at this point - I expect a certain amount of bashing. Spit,
laughter, mean things said..but all of that is like child's play. Oh,
don't get me wrong I'm not saying I enjoy that sort of backlash but I
do accept it as apart of my life in pink. And I am fine with that. It's
my choice to be here in this color and I realize now that some are just
not OK with it. but no proselytizing now about why there has been certain
forms of negative reaction - its a beautiful day out!
May 06, 2005
MIX PHOTOS!
Thank you to Aliza for taking these photos of my performance at the mix
festival - go to the photo album titled...MIX PHOTOS.
Performance26_1
Comments
Mortica
why don't explain a little what's going on in this photo.
Maybe give a few details
of the performance
to give context for the pink bondage scene
May 05, 2005
the laughter
I absolutely love it when people laugh. The sound of laughter filling
the air, especially if its someone i know and love. Can you think how
many times you had a really good laugh lately? Did someone tell a hilarious
joke or perhaps you were at the circus and the lady with the poodles came
out and started making poodle pyramids? Well, i hear laughter all the
time. Its come to the point where I am studying the way people laugh at
me. Yesterday i had grown couple stare and laugh and make comments into
each others ear while looking straight at me. When i say grown couple
i mean they were at least in their thirties, and yes they were laughing
at my outfit, pink jeans and a pink t shirt. That was it. Everything that
made them laugh was jeans and a t shirt, just the color was funny to them.
Laughter is beautiful, i love making people laugh...as long as it goes
something like this.
"Oh, my god Jenny look at the guy in pink...wait wait don't stare
he's over there to our left."
Jenny turns her head.
"Holy shit John! That's so funny!" Insert chuckles and eyes
reverting back to me and more chuckles.
"I cant believe it John, why is that guy wearing all pink!"
Now.... i would like to believe that's where it ends right? I would never
want to believe that it goes farther..like:
"That guy is a total ass munching fag Jenny that's why he's wearing
pink! I mean look at him! Do you think any girl would want any part of
THAT!"
"it's true John! He does look like a cocksucker!" More guffaws,
louder and meaner.
I get laughed at a lot folks, and it ain't always fun....
Comments
maybe you could have cards made with your blog address to give out
to people who have dramatic reactions to your pink ensembles.
i'm trying to understand what made them laugh: is it a stranger's odd
fashion sense? or what they perceive as fagginess? or just the color pink
in abundance --per se?
yes, you should have frilly pink cards made. perfumed to smell like cupcakes.
Posted by: sady | May 05, 2005 at 11:08 PM
May 04, 2005
one more...
i wondered what you all want to hear about - i mean hey you're here reading
this blog right? what if nothing especially blog worthy happened in regards
to wearing pink? maybe it was just another day with little to no interaction
with my desired clothing color.
send me messages! i love em'!
Comments
I'm still reading! I'm loving your pink observations. Don't worry
if they're not coming thick and fast (oo-er), it's the quality that counts.
Posted by: Charlotte | May 05, 2005 at 02:39 PM
May 04, 2005
good enough to give directions....
whats up everyone! is anyone wearing pink lately? i know i am! this makes
me a good target for giving directions to the trains and giving the cops
something to laugh at (happened twice today where cops took a look at
me and chuckled, ha ha! funny pink man!)
i am exhausted but not willing to give details -- all i know is that wearing
pink today was no less trying then getting to work on time at 9am.
yay pink! yay pink. yay pink.....
i guess.
May 02, 2005
Pink, head to toe pink, there is the walking around and the clownish feelings
but there should be more shouldn't there? I am wearing pink and feeling
lackluster feeling like I didn't figure it all out (what?) making a goal
that maybe just maybe i cant keep (the whole year..)
I had this intense moment last night where I felt the need to be held.
A lot of us have that feeling sometimes. Someone elses arms to wrap around
me, to feel human touch, to have someone see me and want to touch this
pink body.
If I were an inanimate object I would want to be a piano- the beauty of
being wanting to be touched and when done so just right the most gorgeous
sound being sent into the air, to be heard by all who was around. A piano.
The player of which knows the desire and wanting to do it just right,
sits down Pinkpianoand places gentle fingers and begins .....
Comments
a piano. makes me want to listen to telonius monk.Posted by:
amelia | May 02, 2005 at 11:21 AM
You are a genius.
I really admire your mission. Should definitely write a book about the
Pink experience. I had a strange relationship with pink when I was a little
girl, I demanded that everything around me be hot pink. My mother eventually
said it made her nauseous. Posted by: Christine Hamm
| May 05, 2005 at 03:12 PM
|